The Boy Who Never
by Lemon Drop Lie Detector
Summary: Logan overhears Julian singing and begins to wonder what is going on with the other boy. When he asks, he finds out more than he anticipated. A Jogan fic based off CP Coulter's Dalton. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

_After reading CP Coulter's amazing fanfiction, _Dalton_, I couldn't resist writing about one of my favorite pairings from the story, Julian and Logan. It was tricky for me to find a way to write about them that was at least somewhat original, because there are so many fics about how the_y_ get together, and many of them are very similar. I got some of my inspiration by listening to the song _The Boy Who Never_ by Landon Pigg, and then went from there. This chapter is basically just the song, but I promise the next one will be at least a bit more exciting. I am not convinced that I will be able to portray their relationship accurately, so if you have any ideas feel free to mention them in the comments, and I will definitely take them into account. Thanks. :)_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or the OC's from Dalton, or Landon Pigg's beautiful song. I am just a humble fan, who enjoys all three.**

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><p>Julian sat down in front of the piano, looking up at Pavarotti and sighing. He placed his fingers lightly in the keys, hesitating before beginning to play.<p>

_The strongest structures ever built  
>Are the ones that don't get built at all<br>And the kind of bricks that don't get laid  
>Are the only kind that never fall<em>

The song wasn't his usual style, and the slow mournful tune tasted odd in his mouth, but when he had heard this song earlier he had known that he needed to sing it.

_He taught himself how not to lose_  
><em>By never really trying to win<em>  
><em>That's how the man in front of you became<em>  
><em>The boy who never<em>

He felt tears catching in his throat, but swallowed them hastily. He needed this song. He had been hiding for so long,never quite able to say what he felt, never strong enough to admit these feelings to Logan, and now he had found a way to voice them.

_I'm afraid of what might happen if_  
><em>Together we build a wall<em>  
><em>Cause the only kind of love that never gets built<em>  
><em>Is the only kind of love that never falls<em>  
><em>So I'll forfeit future tears of joy to save us both from pain<em>  
><em>I could kiss you now but I'd only miss you more<em>  
><em>When I walk away<em>  
><em>When I walk away<em>

He didn't get to walk away now. That option was no longer open to him, thanks to his stalker. But he had done it enough times to know it really made no difference. He could never have Logan, but he could never forget him either.

_I never let my heart speak through my lips_  
><em>I never let my hands rest on your hips<em>  
><em>I never said 'I love you'<em>  
><em>But a heart never lies<em>  
><em>I know you heard me say it when I said it with my eyes<em>

But Logan hadn't heard. You had to be listening to hear something, and Logan had no reason to listen to him.

_So I'll forfeit future tears of joy to save us both from pain_  
><em>I could kiss you now but I'd only miss you more<em>

_He taught himself how not to lose_  
><em>By never really trying to win<em>  
><em>That's how the man in front of you became<em>  
><em>The boy who never<em>

_The boy who never..._

Julian never saw the blonde boy standing behind him, listening to his song, but the taller boy watched as Julian wiped tears out of his eyes, and stood up slowly, walking into his room, not looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

_So here is the second chapter. And in this one, there is actual dialogue, and all that good stuff! Like I said, I'm not entirely confident that I have portrayed these two accurately, so I would love you're critiques. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually have the patience to rewrite. That would definitely be a good thing for me to learn how to do. Thanks for reading!_

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><p>Julian sunk into his brown leather armchair with a sigh of relief, eyes still damp, and throat still knotted from the song he had just sung. He felt completely overwhelmed by life in general. The stress of schoolwork combined with the constant fear of his stalker, and the fact that he hadn't slept for more than an hour at once for the past two weeks made every day far too long. He rested his elbows on his knees and pressed his closed eyes against his palms until small stars appeared in the blackness of his eyelids. A knock on his door made him jump, his whole body going tense, and his lungs refusing to draw in air.<p>

"Jules…?" He sighed with relief as a familiar voice sounded through his door, reprimanding himself for being so jumpy. Part of him lit up at the sound of that voice, but another, more prominent part of him groaned and muttered a curse under his breath, making no move to answer. "Julian, I know you're in there. Open the door!" This was accompanied by an impatient pounding on thick wood, as Logan's voice grew sharper. Julian stood slowly, in no hurry to let the other boy in. He unlocked the door, pulled back the deadbolt, and turned the doorknob, only opening the door part of the way.

"What do you want?"

"Jesus. Nice to see you too," Logan answered sarcastically. Julian didn't respond. "Would you let me in? Or is that too much to ask of your royal highness?" Julian glared at him, swinging the door open and stepping aside to let his friend in. Logan stood in front of him for a moment, studying him, as though trying to calculate what to say next. "May I sit down?" he asked in an overly patient, falsely polite voice. Julian could tell he was trying to stay calm, but from the brightness in his eyes, he could see that the boy wasn't medicated.

"Sure. Whatever." The actor rolled his eyes, gesturing vaguely with one hand towards the sitting area of his room, while turning to close the door. While Logan's back was turned, he quickly relocked it and drew the deadbolt back across it, as had become his habit as of late. He walked over to the armchair he had been sitting in earlier, trying desperately to look nonchalant and cold, but he was too tired to make his act entirely convincing. As he sat down Logan began studying him again. Julian tried to stare coolly back at him, but if he looked into those pale green eyes for too long he knew from experience he would get lost in them, so he jerked his eyes away, looking pointedly at his watch, though not registering the time, and speaking again. "Want to tell me why you're here?" Logan was silent for another moment before answering.

"What's going on with you?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Julian asked defensively.

"You're barely eating, and from the looks of you, barely sleeping too, when you aren't in classes you're up here, literally locked in your room, you don't really talk to Derek much, and you're completely avoiding me. So what's wrong?" Julian laughed coldly.

"There doesn't need to be something wrong for me to be avoiding you, Wright." He was purposefully avoiding the question, because all his concentration was being used to force himself from overreacting to the fact that Logan had actually cared enough to ask.

"That's bullshit and you know it. Maybe we fight a lot, but we're still friends and I know you well enough to know that something's up. So tell me what it is," Logan demanded. Julian could see his eyes darken as he grew more impatient.

"Nothing's up. But even if something was, why bother pretending you care?"

"Because I fucking do, Larson! And I'm not leaving this fucking room until you tell me what's going on, so I'd stop playing the fucking diva and start talking if I were you." Julian stared at him silently for a minute before answering.

"Fine, but I'm not saying a word until you calm yourself down. I thought you said you were gonna start taking your meds again." Logan glowered at him. Julian couldn't help but notice how insanely beautiful he was when he was angry.

"I do take them. But I can't be on them full time. You know what they do to me. I can't spend my whole life not feeling." Julian nodded, but didn't answer, waiting for Logan's eyes to lighten again, and waiting for his own heart to stop racing at the thought of Logan caring about him. After a few moments of silence, Julian reached into his pocket for his phone, keeping his eyes trained on the good-looking boy in front of him. He glanced down for a second to select the twitter icon and scroll through the tweets from his fans, until he found the block of tweets, all from the same person, that he was looking for. He tossed his phone lightly to Logan, who caught it easily, a look of confusion on his face. Julian watched expressionlessly as the blonde boy scanned the screen of his phone, his green eyes widening. Logan looked up at his friend in shock. "Holy SHIT! What the fuck Julian? Why the hell would you not tell someone about this?" he demanded.

"Derek knows," Julian replied in a voice devoid of emotion, "I was going to leave for good after the Valentine's Day fair, but when I opened the door there was blood and rose petals on the front step. And-" his voice broke, but he forced himself to continue, "-and there was a mutilated picture of… of me." Logan stared at him, clearly terrified.

"Oh my God, Jules. Oh my fucking God…" his voice trailed off as he tried to process the information. But suddenly he looked up again. "Wait. You were going to leave for good? Without even telling me?" Julian gaped at him. _That _was what he was worrying about? "_Why?_" Julian forced himself to breathe as he tried to figure out how to answer the question. He dropped his head into his hands thinking of the song he had just sung, and could still taste in his mouth. He was so tired of all of this. The stress, the fear, the hiding. It was all too much. Tomorrow he would leave, screw the consequences. If his stalker actually came after him, he would deal with that then, and if whoever it was killed him, well, at least he'd be out of this damn school. Tonight he was going to tell Logan the truth, because he couldn't stand pretending any more. He looked up.

"Maybe I was tired of all this. Of watching you fall head over heels for all those other guys and never give me a second glance. Of living for our fights, because at least then you looked at me with half of the passion you look at Kurt with. Of waiting for that minute when you would look at me and actually like what you saw, but knowing it would never happen. Of all this fucking hiding." Julian stood up as he spoke, walking to the door, unlocking it, and holding it open for Logan. He heard the other boy's shoes walking across his wood floor, towards the door, walking away. But Logan stopped, placing a hand on his shoulder. Despite himself, Julian's heart fluttered at the contact.

"Jules, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Probably," Julian answered, his eyes resting firmly on the floor. Logan was silent, and Julian waited for him to walk away. But he didn't, and after a few moments, he spoke.

"Can you give me some time to figure this out? Can you promise me you won't run away again?" Part of him wanted to say yes, that he would give Logan all the time in the world, but Julian shook his head slowly, still not looking at the other boy. "Jules… Jules look at me." Unwillingly Julian looked up at Logan, brown eyes meeting green, his stomach jumping to his throat as he saw the look of confusion on his friend's face. "Don't leave. It's not safe."

"You think I don't know that? I don't give a shit, and you don't either."

"That's not true. You know damn well that give a whole lot more than a shit." Julian shook his head again, and Logan's expression became desperate. "Julian… Please. I can't loose you. There aren't many people who would put up with an idiot like me…" His voice was different now, that note of pleading was so rare that it caught Julian off guard and he found himself nodding his head.

"Fine. I'll stay. But you should go now." He nodded towards the door. The look of relief on Logan's face was so evident, that Julian's heart began to pound again, realizing how much he meant to the other boy. It almost made it worth the sacrifice of staying, though even now he was regretting making that promise.

"Right." Logan started to walk away, but then turned around. "Do you have the windows locked?" Julian nodded. "Are you going to be okay in here by yourself? Derek and I could sleep in here with you or you could come into our room…" The brunette shook his head. There was a knot the size of a tennis ball in the back of his throat that prevented him from answering. "You sure? Okay, well, call if you need anything…" Logan trailed off, and turned to leave again.

"Lo?" It hurt to speak and his voice threatened to crack on every syllable, but he had to say something. "Goodnight." Logan smiled genuinely, a rare occurrence around Julian.

"Goodnight, bitch." Julian smiled back weakly and closed the door behind his friend, locking it and drawing the dead bolt across it. He walked to each window in his room, checking that it was locked, and then slowly took off his uniform, carefully folding it over the back of a chair, and pulled on his plaid pajama pants and a baggy _Something Damaged_ t-shirt. He checked the door and all the windows again before crawling into bed, and only then did he allow himself to cry. It started as only tears but before long his whole body was shaking with sobs. He couldn't quite explain why he was crying, there was just too much to process, and too much to worry about. He had a stalker who threatened to kill him, he had told the boy he loved that he loved him, and then promised not to run away as he had planned, and to top it all off, he was terrified that he would fall behind in school because he was so tired from not getting enough sleep, that his brain could hardly function in class. But, Logan hadn't jut walked away. He had said that he cared about him, and asked for time to "figure this out." That had to be a good sign. As Julian's tears dried, he fell asleep and almost slept soundly for the first time in ages.


	3. Chapter 3

_I thought this would end up being longer, but it just sort of ended itself. I'm not really satisfied that I did these two justice, so if you have any ideas of how I could improve this_, _please share them in the comments, I enjoy this pairing enough that I will make every effort to get this right, for their sake. Thanks for reading and sorry this is so short!_

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><p>Over the next week Julian avoided Logan even more religiously than before. It was when he was hurrying through the halls between classes, hoping not to see the blonde boy that he called out after him. Julian froze, his whole body tense, as he turned around, and saw Logan gesturing for him to follow him into a deserted hallway. His stomach churned and his heartbeat quickened considerably. What could Logan possibly have to say to him? He followed nervously, and when they had gone down the hallway Logan turned to face him, an odd expression on his face.<p>

"I think I have this figured out now," he said, his voice oddly hesitant. Julian didn't bother asking what he had figured out, he just waited expectantly, unsure if he would start hyperventilating soon. "Would you tell me what you never actually told me the other night?"

"What? That I-" Julian faltered, unable to believe what he was about to say, "-I like you?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but knew he had failed miserably. Logan nodded.

"Yeah, that." He waited, eyes locked on the shorter boy's. Julian sighed and, because those pale green eyes really did do weird things to him, threw caution to the wind.

"I am in love with you, Lo," he said it quietly, and waited on baited breath for a reply. He seemed to have caught the other boy off guard, but he couldn't help but hope…

"I'm not in love with you-" but no. He had been right, there was no way this insanely beautiful guy, with the whole school at his feet, could ever love him. But Logan stepped closer to him, slipping his hands into Julian's. "At least not yet. But I want the chance to learn how to love you. Because I do like you, Jules. A lot. And I do care about you. And not just as a friend." Their faces were inches apart now, and Julian could feel Logan's breath on his lips, and his own lungs seemed to have forgotten how to breathe, and perhaps his heart had forgotten how to beat too. He felt as though he was floating, suspended in air, the whole world stopped, because there was no way Logan could have just said that, there was no way. "Julian, can I kiss you?" Now his heart was definitely beating. But way, way, way too fast. He barely managed to nod. And then Logan's lips were on his, and no matter how many times he had imagined this in the past, he could never have known just how good those lips would taste, or that they would be so soft, or that they would fit so perfectly on his. Maybe this wouldn't last, but right now, Julian really couldn't care less.


End file.
